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How to Quickly Boost Self-Esteem and Confidence

Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence can hold you back in many areas of your life. You may think you don’t deserve to be happy or successful, become nervous or shy when speaking in public, or feel negative about yourself and your abilities. The good news is that it’s possible to change those destructive patterns and build up your self-esteem and confidence. With time, patience and commitment, you can transform the way you think and feel about yourself.

This article shows how you can permanently boost both self-confidence and self-esteem using hypnotherapy and simple hypnosis techniques.


What do we mean by 'self-esteem' and 'confidence'?

Self-worth, aka self-esteem, is not the same as confidence.

Your self-worth depends on whether you truly believe you deserve respect or praise for who you are. This in turn is determined by how you see yourself as a person (looks, behaviour, personality).

Self-confidence, on the other hand, depends on whether you trust your own abilities and competencies. It's often focused on achievement, or how others see you. You can read more about this in this interesting article Psychology Today: Self-confidence Versus Self-esteem.


What happens when we struggle with low self-worth and lack of self-confidence?

We often live our lives without realising that we are constantly being influenced by our subconscious thoughts and fears, as well as other people's opinions about us.

  • Are you finding it hard to make decisions these days?

  • Are you more reluctant to take risks?

  • Do you feel unproductive, or frustrated with yourself or others?

Confidence is an ephemeral but powerful force that affects every aspect of our lives. When we're confident in ourselves and what we believe in, it's easier to accept who we are as people—flaws and all – leading to higher self-esteem.


Conversely, when low self-confidence prevails, restlessness sets in, because you start questioning your abilities. When you don't believe in yourself, your self-esteem drops.

  • Are you finding it difficult to connect with others lately?

  • Have you been feeling more anxious or unhappy?

  • Are you letting yourself go (diet, exercise, sleep)?

Without a strong sense of self-worth, it can be hard to connect with others, and this may inhibit your ability to build relationships. Humans thrive in healthy relationships—romantic or not – so conversely, we don't do well when we are unable to connect authentically with others.


All of this can lead you down dark paths, where you feel so anxious and unhappy that you just don't have the energy to care for yourself anymore.


When you lose belief in yourself or your capabilities, your psycho-emotional wellbeing takes a dive, and you can become locked in a cycle of low self-esteem and negativity.


Overcoming low self-esteem is especially challenging when it’s rooted too deeply within your subconscious. This happens when a lack of self-belief was initially caused by trauma or the attitude of peers or parents early in life, leading to negative thoughts and beliefs that make you feel terrible about yourself.


Can you shift your mindset and empower yourself?

Recent scientific research has proven that our minds are flexible and can be taught to think differently. This is known as neuroplasticity and is an underlying principle of hypnotherapy.

In effect, it means we are capable of not only learning from our past experiences, but allowing this learning to change our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.


In other words, you don't need to remain stuck in feelings of low self-worth, or lacking the confidence to move into the future. You can begin to change right now!


5 Steps boost your confidence and self-esteem


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Step 1. Take charge of your change

First and foremost you must want to change. You always have a choice. You can stay in a familiar behaviour pattern that keeps you in a negative cycle. Or you can move outside your comfort zone for a short time in order to achieve lasting confidence and high self-worth. No one can do this for you; only your own effort can result in real change.


It's vital to understand this, because we often delegate our own ha you happy, you also give them the power to take it away. An article on PsyPost explains really well how low-esteem impacts romantic relationships: People With Low Self-esteem Tend to Seek Support in Ways That Backfire.


Step 2. Identify what is outside of your control

Worrying about things that are outside of your control is a great way to bring your mood down and make you feel powerless, even overwhelmed. These feelings can quickly drive down your self-confidence and affect your self-esteem. If you find yourself worrying about such things, it's a sign you're focusing on a future that might never happen – instead of living your life right now.


To stop this rumination and bring you back into the present moment, breathing exercises can be really effective. This is one of the very popular self-help tools I give to my clients, and they have confirmed multiple times that it helped them to stop their mind from going into overdrive. It's one of the simplest yet most effective habits you can develop.


Step 3. Learn to accept compliments

When we feel bad about ourselves, we tend to resist positive feedback from others. We might even try to convince the other person how little we deserve it.


Many of us were taught to choose modesty over self-confidence, and that accepting compliments makes you seem 'up yourself'. But when you always reject compliments, it's much harder to celebrate your successes. And success – whatever that means to you – reaffirms your self-belief, helping to boost both confidence and self-esteem. I love this article on BuzzFeed: 16 Women Talk About How Their Self-esteem and Confidence Increased in Their Thirties.


Step 4. Become your own cheerleader

Linked to step 3 is a tendency to be self-critical and diminish our achievements. We all have an internal critic – that voice in your head that tells you where you're going wrong. But ask yourself: is it helping or demotivating you right now?


I often work with my hypnotherapy clients to replace the inner critic with an inner cheerleader. Your self-talk is extremely powerful, so make it positive! This doesn't mean ignoring your conscience, but your cheerleader is a much better ally than the critic in the path to change.


Here's a one-month challenge for you. Each day, use positive affirmations in front of the mirror: ‘I am bold, I am brilliant, I am beautiful, I am worthy, and I love you’. Choose any empowering words you like, but always finish with ‘I love you’. Having a loving relationship with yourself and showing yourself kindness, just as you would your best friend, is the key to boosting your self-esteem.


Step 5. Invest in Yourself

Tony Robbins often said 'the best decision you can make is to invest in you and start getting excited about what could go right’.


Self-esteem and confidence may take time to build, but hypnosis can be an effective tool for achieving a more positive mindset quickly. By using hypnotherapy, you can rewire your mindset to embrace yourself fully, and to recognise and feel better about your abilities. It can also help you overcome negative thoughts and beliefs such as “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve this”.


Unlike other investments you might make, investing in yourself will always pay off. In fact, maintaining your physical fitness, taking care of your mental health and developing your skills should be priorities. There's nothing selfish about it; doing these things will enable you to give more back, to have more strength to support others, greater skills to contribute to the workplace or community, and more joy to bring to your personal relationships.


When you make the effort to improve yourself, you will always see results – results that will transform your life and the lives of those around you.


Self-doubt is something we have all experienced at some time or another, but it can be damaging if left unchecked. If these thoughts become ingrained in our subconscious minds, they will influence our actions and decisions on a daily basis without us even realising it! This means that we may end up sabotaging ourselves in various ways and miss out on opportunities for success.


In my hypnotherapy practice in Sydney I work with many women who struggle to accept that they are not only enough, but have a great deal to give. Are you ready to face your fears? Do you want to be the best possible version of you? Check out my Hypnotherapy for Confidence and Mindset Growth and schedule a free Discovery call. All my Sydney hypnotherapy and NLP sessions are available online.